5. Christian Mysteries: Joshua & the Sacraments

INFERNAL INTERNET

My Dear Hobnob,

I am definitely going to suggest that we use this book for all our sentimental types who consider themselves learned. Most impressive! From what you tell me, your subject was quite receptive to Girzone's views about rituals and sacraments. For future reference, let me direct you to the pertinent passages:

• The Christian inheritance is viewed outwardly as "crusty customs and traditions that have shackled them for generations" (p. 14).
• Disavowing that the sacraments were instituted by Khrist and that the H.S. has nurtured the Church through her evolution, he states: "God never intended that religion become what it is today. Jesus came to earth to try to free people from that kind of regimented religion where people are threatened if they don't obey the rules and rituals invented by the clergy" (p. 73).
• Continuing in his repudiation of orthodox ecclesiology, he writes: "Customs and practices and traditions then replace true service of God and these become a serious obstacle to real growth and love of God" (p. 74). He does not let on that they can also be a means of this growth. I will have to check to see if he is one of us— as a Catholic priest, it is peculiar that he seems to think that Khrist would have abandoned his Church.
• He plays masterfully into the hand of human weakness in his rejection of the sacramental laws, especially regarding Mass attendance: "The Church should "not intimidate [a loaded word if ever there was one] people into sterile [another wonderful one-sided assumption] external observance" (p. 75). This helps the argument of those who want Sunday Mass attendance dropped from a precept of the Church to an optional affair. Delicious! At the core of this reasoning is the presupposition that the Mass has no power to soften even the hardest of hearts.
• On pages 123 to 124, Girzone refutes the law requiring Catholics to necessarily be married before a priest. Ah, there goes the good order of the Church! Without the law, this weak sacrament would be absolutely vulnerable to our machinations. Between you and me, as a public sacrament, the ecclesial community has a right to celebrate this new reality in its midst. We must make them lose sight of this right and treat the whole business as worthless ritual. Girzone pivots his pseudo-Jeezus against the Church authorities as a condemnation of them. Tasty! We are the people! We are the Church! Naughty institutional Church! Haha! When Girzone's Joshua is scrutinized by Vatican officials, he again brings up the issue of marriage legislation. If people are unsure about their faith, as the author suggests on page 253, then Christian marriage may not be what they want anyway; but, let them fight it out. The results are exciting. Who says marriages are made in heaven? More than half of them ultimately think it is hell. On page 254, regarding annulments, Joshua illustrates a devilish fixation on sex. Good! Let the human beasts think that sex and consummation are the same thing and that physical needs are primary. Sweet! This book is too entertaining for me. Who says that hell can't be its own kind of heaven? Haha! Keep from your pathetic subject's mind the truth that there might be something more. Remember the Church teaches that for a marriage to be truly consummated by intercourse, it must be "a human act." There is a total and mutual self-donation of the whole person to the beloved. Gross! Hide this truth, especially since the tension with his wife might provide us with other promising openings. Let them see themselves as animals in heat.
• Following up on the last point, beware of the matter of Church compassion toward marriages. You know as well as I do that their annulment procedures get flack from every angle; let's keep it that way. On one hand some marriages may be null-and-void due to a whole host of reasons, including a general ignorance about true Christian marriage altogether. On the other, few people get married not thinking that it will last until "death do us part." Let us beguile couples into thinking there was no meaningful relationship initially (p. 254) regardless of the truth. Try to dull the reader's mind in the latter pages of the book; otherwise logic might be our undoing. This Joshua, if he were the real Jeezus, would have all the symptoms of amnesia. He forbad divorce (and remarriage) except in cases of incest (no real marriage) and yet Joshua says it is only the Church leadership which acknowledges that those who marry again "commit adultery" (p. 254).
• I loved Joshua's negative comments about the sacrament of reconciliation. This will appeal to your client's fear of confessing certain sins. All this works in our favor. Any grace from the sacrament could shatter the good work you have done. Let him feel happy about himself and presume a good standing before God. May his sins become Legion.
• Joe Engman, the Methodist minister portrayed in the book, freely receives communion from the confused Fr. Pat and no issue is made. The author says that the people found this wonderful. More often than not, Catholics knowing the official guidelines get upset at such violations. Maybe this book can recondition them to think otherwise? After all, such an inter-communion short-circuits the hunger for true reunion. The real Jeezus is not the onlooker Joshua but the consecrated communion. This so-called "real" presence has already been forgotten by a majority of the Catholic membership. The war goes well. Revisionists are blind to the hypocrisy of a non-Catholic making the faith profession "Amen" prior to receiving holy communion. He says yes— that he believes, while he means no— believing in something else. This confusion they have largely brought upon themselves. Sometimes they hardly need devils to lead them astray and to manipulate them.

You are showing wonderful promise, my infernal regards,
Slubgob